Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Life and Love, What Kids Need to Know

Kids, we were all one at one point, think that they know everything.   Well I have some news for you, kids know jack squat about life!

Only through experience can lessons truly be taught, and I'm here to share some that life has taught me.

Life and Work
  1. People make their own luck.  By being open to new ideas, new opportunities and the willingness to take a risk, those "lucky" people really earn that luck.   
  2. There are no failures.   Everyone will come up short on things in life, but if you learn from this then it isn't a failure.  
  3. Don't fear change.     I know that change can be very scare for many, but only through change can people truly grow.   Embrace the new things that change will bring you.
  4. Take risks.   I know that risks seem scary for many, but if you plan accordingly they are one of the ways to truly grow as a person.  This could be as simple as trying a new game, eating a new food, or as big as starting a new business.   See #2 if things don't work out.
  5. Be open to new things.  Be open to new ideas, new people, new experiences.  They will bring you things that you never knew existed.
  6. Be open about who you are. Be open about your feelings, your desires, your goals and you.   Don't hide who you are, don't play games with your feelings or other's feelings. 
  7. Be a doer.   Don't be someone who stands on the sidelines and talks about what they are going to do, or want to do.    Those people never do anything.  Be the one that goes and DOES what you want to do.
  8. Don't fear diversity.   People have a tendency to want to surround themselves with others just like us.  While this will make you feel safe, it's very restricting in life.   Don't be afraid to branch out and get to know people dissimilar to you.    They will bring to you things that you'll never get from your homogeneous group.
  9. You and only you are responsible for your life.   If you aren't living the life you want, then make the changes you need to live that life.   Don't blame others for things in your life.  They may have helped but you have the ability to change your life immediately if you want to.
  10. Stop stressing about things.  Life will work itself out one way or the other, regardless if you stress out about it or not.   Worrying about something does nothing good for you.  Instead think about the possible outcomes and prepare as best you can for them.   Worry will not change the future and only hurts the present.
  11. Second guessing is normal.   When you make a change, or take that risk to do something big, it's inevitable you'll ask yourself if you made the right choice.  This is normal.  Instead of stressing about it, evaluate your life, your goals and if this is still what you want.  And if not, then make the changes you need to make in your life to put you back on track.
  12. Forgive easily.  We are all humans, and all learning on this trip called life.  This means we all make mistakes.   Don't dwell on them, put them in the past, forgive and move on.
  13. Karma is real.  Ok, well not the karma that smites your friend for eating the last ice cream, but life definitely brings back to people the energy they put out into the world.  If you are a negative person then it's unlikely that the people around you will bring you opportunity or help you.   Be positive, thoughtful, upbeat etc. and people will want to help you, and will bring you good things in life.
  14. Don't waste your time on those who aren't willing to listen.   I don't mean that they have to accept your views, but if they aren't willing to listen to an opposing argument the you'll never have an actual discussion.    Dismiss them and move on in life.
  15. Be nice to everyone you meet.   Not only does #12 come into play you truly never know who you are talking to and when you'll cross paths with them again.  They could be your next employer, or someone who simply needed something good to make their day better.
  16. Always go above and beyond.   Those who get ahead or get "lucky" are usually those that earn it.   Always take on some extra tasks, or do more than needed and you'll create your own luck.   
  17. Be true to yourself.  Live your life for yourself, not for others or what society may tell you is right.   You are responsible for your happiness, and that can only happen if you are yourself.
  18. Find a mentor.   This is not only in work but in life.   Find people who have done what you want to do and let them teach you so that you don't have to learn the hard lessons yourself.  
  19. Surround yourself with people who want you happy.   Don't allow negative people into your life and if you have to, limit the amount of time and energy they get from you.
  20. Don't worry what other people think about you.  It's none of your business and should have no impact on your life.
  21. Never stop learning.    Every day brings us an opportunity to learn something new.  Be curious, inquisitive and open to this knowledge.
  22. Happiness comes from within.   No one else can make you happy.  Period.  Only you can choose to be happy or not.   
  23. Get help if you need it.   There is no shame in asking for help, and if you need help then ask for it and get the help you need. 
  24. You can't control your emotions but you can control how you react to them.   It's ok to get mad, but you can control how you react when angry.   Take ownership of your actions.
  25. Don't be afraid to love.   Love is an amazing and powerful emotion.  Don't be afraid to allow yourself to love and express this love.  This could be with family, friends, or lovers.


  1. Relationships are hard work and need continual care and feeding.  Don't ignore your relationship with your significant other.
  2. Learn who you are before you try to bring someone else into your life.  I truly think people live alone (without a spouse) for a year or 2 to truly figure out who you are.  Only then can you find someone who fits you.
  3. Be honest from the start.  We often want to whitewash things in our life, but it's far better to be open and honest from the start.  We all know what it's like to find out your mate lied to you about something.  Don't fall into this trap.
  4. Be happy with yourself.  Take the time to become comfortable with yourself and enjoy your own company.  Only when you can do this will you be ready for a relationship.  Another reason to live alone for a year or 2.
  5. There is no "other half".   You are a whole person, born and raised that way.  Your mate can bring you new experiences and help you, but they will not "complete you".
  6. You cannot change your mate.   I know that many of us think we'll just fix this or that, but the reality is that asking your mate to be someone other than who they are is a recipe for failure.  Like you, they need to be true to themselves.  You can however ask them to change some behaviors.
  7. Relationships don't need to be forever.  I know that society says you'll find "The One", marry them and live together for 70 years happily.   That's simply not realistic for the majority of people.    Enjoy whatever time you have with someone and if need be don't be afraid to make the changes needed.
  8. You define what relationship is right for you.  Don't allow your family, friends, or society tell you what your relationship should be.   There are many relationship types, monogamy, polyamory, polygamy, etc.   Only you know what's right for you.
  9. Every argument has 3 sides.   Stop and think about what you may have done, or what your mate may have perceived you to have done as it's seldom that one side is truly right.
  10. Tell your mate that you love them, that they are beautiful and that they still turn you on weekly.   Show your affection for them.

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